To NeverLand
by Anomay
Summary: A refreshing non-schizophrenic approach to Ryuichi's behavior and background, how he meets Tohma and Noriko, and forms the everloving Nittle Grasper.


**_To NeverLand_**   
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**Dec 2, 2002 Update:******

**All of my stories (except for To Neverland, so people can still find my author announcement and website) are deleted from fanfiction.net as of today.******

**Stories Archive and Gravitation Fanfiction Webring: **   
**http://yuki.eiri.pleasekiss.us/******

**To receive e-mail updates about future fanfiction upload and new members joining the webring:**   
**http://groups.yahoo.com/group/kiss_shining/**

**Now onto the story ...**   
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Summary: A refreshing non-schizophrenic approach to Ryuichi's behavior and background, how he meets Tohma and Noriko, and forms the everloving Nittle Grasper. (Blurb taken from Anti Nostalgic) 

Note: Big thanks goes to Anahita, Eike and Torimiko for beta-reading.   
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


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Sakuma Ryuichi was deeply in love.   
  
  


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~Ryuichi, 7 years old~   


"Mama, look at my drawings!" a small Ryuichi, sitting in a poorly lit room and an extremely short colored pencil in his hand, beamed brightly at his mother when she dragged her tired body through the front door. Sakuma Reiko could barely keep up with all the overtime she had been doing for the last few weeks. 

She kicked away her badly worn high-heeled shoes and sank onto the sofa beside Ryuichi, which made a loud "croaking" sound. The old, faithful sofa had finally met its much-extended and pitiful end. 

Ryuichi didn't even turn his head; things breaking in the apartment had almost become a routine for him. 

Reiko smiled gently as she eyed her son affectionately, who looked so innocent and cute even in the nth-generation-hand-me-down clothes donated by some generous neighbors. She mussed his hair with affection. 

"Excellent pictures, Ryu-chan! Draw more! Have you been a good boy today? Did you give Mrs. Suzuki any trouble?" She had been extremely grateful when the kind woman -- with three children of her own from next door -- had offered to look after Ryuichi for free. Otherwise Reiko would have had no choice but to leave her young son alone at home after school. Being a single mother could be very tough. 

"Of course I was good! I ate all the carrots during lunch today!" Ryuichi grinned happily as he tried to hide the bruises on his arm from his mother, who didn't even notice that something was wrong, simply because she was too exhausted. 

Pulling down the tight hair-bun she had worn for work, she massaged her skull with one exhausted hand as her long, brown hair glided down her shoulder. Her hair had lost its usual shine recently, which was a great loss, because her long hair was one of her few prized treasure. But of course it was nothing when weighed against Ryuichi's welfare - he was her most precious little son. 

"Excellent … so what did you learn at school today?" Reiko could hardly keep her eyes open anymore, nevertheless, she tried her best to stay awake for her son. 

"Sensei taught us a new song! Do you want to hear me sing it, Mom?" He was glad that his mom didn't see his arms; he knew she'd be sad and worried if she noticed the bruises. He smiled even brighter to shield the small pain from spreading - no, the pain was nothing compared to his mother's fuss if she ever saw his bruises. 

"Yes, I'd love to! When you're done, how about we read Peter Pan? It's your favorite story, right?" 

Reiko picked up her young son in an embrace and rocked him back and forth on her lap, whispering quietly, "You're looking more like your father day by day. Sometimes … I wish that … you'd never grow up." 

Ryuichi's angelic song echoed in the small, broken apartment. Slowly, Reiko drifted off. 

Ryuichi smiled as he continued to sing. Pulling up a battered blanket to cover both himself and his mother, Ryuichi contentedly closed his eyes as his voice filled the entire apartment. When he was with her, he could easily forget about the physical pain and enjoy the peaceful time together …   
  
  
  


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"Ryuichi's a bastard child!!! He doesn't have a father!!!!" The three Suzuki boys kicked the small body around like a ball. Ryuichi hugged his knees to his chest as he crouched into a fetal position, but that didn't help stop the throbbing pain from arising all over his body. 

"No! My daddy died when I was still a baby! I just know it!" The small child made futile attempts to defend himself, but the other children were simply too big for Ryuichi to fight, even in a one-on-one situation. 

"It's a lie! Your daddy left your mom! She's not wanted, and you're not wanted too! Bastard! Your mommy is dirty! Don't ever come to our house again!" One of the older kids continued to strike Ryuichi's face with his big fists. Ryuichi brought his arms quickly to cover his head. It would make his mother sad if she saw marks on his face. 

Ryuichi childishly wished that he could become Peter Pan and avoid all of these abuses. He bet Tinkerbell could spray some fairy dust on him and he would be flying! Ryuichi remembered his mother's warm, smiling face in his mind while the bigger boys persisted in pummeling him. No, he couldn't just leave. His mom would miss him terribly. 

Ryuichi smiled casually when another punch hit his stomach. His mother liked his smile, so he'd keep on smiling for her sake. The pain wasn't as bad as when he pictured her inside his mind.   
  
  
  


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~Ryuichi, 10 years old~   
  


"Mom! Guess what? I've been selected as one of the soloists for the school choir!" Slightly out of breath, he opened the door with excitement and peeked inside the small living room. He couldn't wait to tell his mom about the good news! 

His mother was not home yet. He pouted in disappointment, glanced at the cheap plastic clock hanging on the wall and noted that it was already late; she had promised him she would return home early today. 

Swinging his kiddy schoolbag over at the room's corner, Ryuichi wished that his mother would buy him a new bag as a reward -one of those he could carry sideways! They looked much cooler! He hated the big, grinning bootlegged Mickey Mouse on his current bag. How he wished his family could at least afford the real thing, even though it was childish. 

Ryuichi idly played with the newly bought stuffed toy. Staring at the ceiling, he had to wonder how old his mother thought he was now. He was a big boy, and he would never play with that silly pink bunny again! He threw the said bunny, Kumagoro, over to the sofa. Only his mother would give a rabbit such a stupid name. 

Ryuichi definitely did not need stuffed toys anymore. He had outgrown them! He wasn't a small kid anymore! Ryuichi was determined to reinforce that fact to his mother when she came home. He sang to himself as he patiently waited for his mother. 

Sakuma Reiko never returned home that night.   
  
  


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Ryuichi looked out of the only window in the apartment. The weather was nice outside; a soft breeze caressed his face in a mother-like manner, birds whistled happily as some children played hide-and-seek in a nearby park. Ryuichi could clearly hear one of the girls calling "three, two, one!" as she began to look for her playmates. 

It should be a cheerful scene. However, Ryuichi felt chilly inside. The good weather didn't affect him. Nothing affected him anymore. 

Staring blankly at a busy road, Ryuichi shivered when he saw a bus passing by. It made him sick to the stomach to see a bus … Blinking hard, he turned his head back to the full house of people in the apartment. It had never been this crowded before. 

"Poor kid, first his father, now his mother …" a neighbor whispered quietly in the corner, but Ryuichi caught every single word. 

He clutched the pink bunny tighter - ah, it felt so soft and cuddly. Just like his mother's embrace. He twitched uncomfortably as the buzzer grew louder. So annoying … he wished that they would just leave him alone. 

The noise finally died down. Mrs. Suzuki strolled towards the corner and spoke softly to the boy, "I'm sorry, Ryu-chan … we have no choice but to send you to an orphanage. You've got no relatives that are willing to take care of you." 

Ryuichi nodded slightly and turned his attention back to the window again. Frankly, he didn't really care where he'd be sent off to. He ceased to care about anything since that night when his Mom failed to return home. His eyes wandered aimlessly when he barely acknowledged that the girl in the park hadn't got any luck in finding her friends yet. She looked lost, with only herself standing alone in a deserted sand field. 

_Mom … sorry … I'll never say I want to grow up ever again. I'll be your young son forever, just like you always wanted … so …could you please come back to me now? Please? _

_You always said you like my smiling face the best … I'll keep on smiling for your sake … so … don't leave me alone … I'll be good, I promise …_

Ryuichi and Kumagoro stared at each other, their noses touching as if it was part of his body.   
  
  


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~Ryuichi, 13 years old~   


"Look at that new kid! He's cute and all, but what's with that bunny?" said Ryuichi's new junior high classmate, giggling to her friend. 

Ryuichi was used to that kind of reaction by now, and he dealt with it just like he usually did: by beaming a little bit too naively towards the said classmate and waving at her energetically with Kumagoro's left paw. If it were possible, the girl would have literally melted at the sight. 

That solved the problems nice and easy. Ryuichi had always used his boyhood charm to his advantage, sometimes consciously, but most of the time, it had become a daily habit of his that required no thinking. 

A lavender haired girl, who previously sat at a corner behind Ryuichi, walked slowly over, playing with her bracelets absentmindedly as she surveyed Ryuichi with interest. She did not seem to be very taken with his innocent smile. She slammed Ryuichi's desk loudly with one hand; Ryuichi could not fail to notice the exotic blue nail polish on her lean fingers as he grinned at her. They held each other's gaze for over a minute. 

Quietly, Kumagoro crept up the desk and tucked his paws on the girl's hand. She burst into an uncontrollable laughter. 

"You're so funny, Sakuma-kun!!!! You're really one of a kind … I haven't seen anyone quite like you before! Hahaha … would you mind me calling you Ryu-chan instead? That nickname suits you way better than the formal Sakuma-kun!" She continued to laugh as she wiped away the tears. 

Ryuichi started to like her instantly. Her melodic laughter somehow reminded him of his late mother, and it was infectious. He began to chuckle too. 

"Sure, why not? I think Kumagoro likes you too! What should I call you then?" 

"Noriko-chan is fine!"   
  
  


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~Ryuichi, 16 years old~   


"Ryu-chan! Which club are you going to join?" Even though she was now in high school, Ukai Noriko hadn't changed all that much. Wearing her sailor uniform, she definitely looked more mature and feminine, but she was as hyper and noisy as ever. She had cut down on the use of brightly colored nail polish, but now she had four earrings in each of her ears. 

Many people thought that Ryuichi and Noriko were a couple, since they spent so much time in each other's company. But both knew that wasn't the case at all. They were more like siblings than anything else. Besides, Noriko fancied older guys. Ryuichi was just too young for her tastes. But that didn't stop her from protecting/hovering over/teasing Ryuichi, much like an older sister did. He really was too cute for his own good, and at 16 years of age, he had already broken many hearts with his boyish appeal and carefree attitude. 

"Noriko-chan, you know that I hate school! I'd rather be at a beach with Kumagoro right now! Ahhhh I want some ice-cream! What favor would you like, Kuma?" Ryuichi asked his bunny. Of course, his bunny couldn't give him any replies. 

"No ice-cream for you, Ryu-chan! Well, unless you watch my try-out! I'm gonna join the band! I heard there's a genius organizing it at this school. Let's see if he can appreciate my advanced keyboarding skills properly." 

Noriko could not believe that, even with his huge popularity among the students (mostly girls, but there were a few boys as well), Ryuichi wasn't going to join any clubs to woo more fans. Ryuichi didn't seem interested in anything. He wasn't very big into dating girls, studying, playing sports, or doing school activities. He seemed to purposely distance himself from the outside world, hiding his true self behind that wonderful, childish smile of his that no one could resist. 

As much as Noriko loved spending time with her "little brother," she didn't understand him most of the time. She felt like something was frozen inside him, but she couldn't quite place her finger on it. 

Noriko was determined to change Ryuichi. That had to be ONE thing that could excite Ryuichi, and she wouldn't give up until she found it …   
  
  
  


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"Yeah, ice-cream! ~ We all scream for ice-cream! ~ Kuma loves mango ice-cream! ~ Ryu-chan loves bubblegum ice-cream! ~ La la la! ~~" Ryuichi sang happily to himself as he curiously studied all the musical equipment in the assembly hall. He reached out to a weird looking keyboard, playing with the amplifier and volume control. It was fun! He stopped abruptly when he felt a hand gently tugging on his shirtsleeves. 

"May I ask that could you please refrain from touching the equipment? Thank you very much." Spoke a soft, feminine voice. 

Ryuichi turned around and saw a pretty boy standing right in front of him. Even though he was several inches taller than Ryuichi, he was delicate enough to be mistaken for a girl. His blonde hair glittered in the faint sunshine coming from the open window, but Ryuichi squeaked at the look that the boy was giving him. 

Wow! Although the boy was as cute as an angel physically, he acted exactly like Captain Hook - so dominant! Ryuichi could just imagine him using his hook to plunge people when they disobeyed him. (Of course, the boy hadn't got any iron claw.) Scary!!! But maybe he wouldn't be so mean to Ryu-chan … see? He was smiling now! Ryuichi sniggered to himself when he pictured in his head how he could annoy this boy so that he lost his cool. That would be interesting! 

"But these weird stuff are fun! What're they for? Okay, if I can't touch them, what about Kumagoro?" Ryuichi pressed his bunny's head into one of the keyboards. 

Everyone was startled when the loud noise almost destroyed his or her eardrums. Seeing the look of the blonde's face, Kumagoro quickly withdrew its paw, and backed down for several steps. Although it was indeed fun, maybe it wasn't such a brilliant idea to provoke 'Captain Hook'. Ryuichi was scared!!! 

Seguchi Tohma narrowed his eyes as he continued to study Ryuichi. He had just heard the brown hair boy singing nonsense to his bunny, and Tohma couldn't quite believe his own ears. The lyrics were silly, but that voice of his was so powerful and clear. And the brown hair boy's eccentric manner was unique in many ways. Tohma was dazzled by the happy smile; he could definitely feel something very attractive asleep deep inside the boy. He had unbelievable charisma hidden underneath all the babyish behavior. 

Tohma grabbed Ryuichi's hands excitedly, not willing to let go. "Please come with me." 

Ryuichi was now VERY scared. Oh no, Ryuichi just knew that 'Captain Hook' was going to toast Kuma as dinner! Ryuichi was dragged over to the stage by 'Captain Hook'. ' He was even more forceful than Noriko, despite his fragile looks! 

"What's going on here? Huh? Huh? Are you trying to kidnap me? Noriko-chan? Help me!" 

Noriko, who walked over and wrapped her hands around Ryuichi's neck protectively, asked in a sweet yet threatening tone, "What are you trying to do with Ryu-chan, Seguchi-sempai?" 

Oh, so 'Captain Hook' was in fact Seguchi. And he was older than Noriko-chan! Ryuichi couldn't believe it! 

"He's our new vocalist." 

Everybody gasped audibly. Someone from the stage yelled, "But … what about the tryout?" 

"There's no need for it anymore. I trust my instincts. He has a wonderful voice, so he's our new vocalist. I've decided." There was no debate at all once Seguchi Tohma had made his decision. Noriko knew that it was final. She sighed. Maybe Ryu-chan could have some fun with singing … 

Ryuichi was amazed with Seguchi's confidence in him. But … he hadn't sung in public, with audience present, ever since that night. Could he do it? 

But Ryuichi had to. He wanted to show Captain H… err no, Seguchi that he was capable to do anything! Ryuichi couldn't back down from the challenge!   
  
  


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Ryuichi felt alive on stage. He hadn't been that excited for a long time. The audience cheered for him - his music, his voice, his everything. 

He felt like letting go of the strong hold on himself when he was performing. The emotions were so intense that he had lost track of everything that mattered to him. Beads of sweat rolled down his face, his body, but Ryuichi didn't care one bit. 

He had stopped caring about anything when he started singing on stage. 

Lights on. 

Lights out. 

Fans Screaming. 

Screaming his name. 

Screaming for more. 

Yes, he'd give them more. 

More music. 

More dancing. 

His performance was eternal. 

Eternity was his music. 

To Neverland, where everyone could remain forever young. 

Young. For. Ever. 

Ryuichi's singing was a magical spell that pulled everyone into an eternal paradise.   
  
  
  
  


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"Wow! Ryu-chan, I didn't know you could sing so well!" Noriko exclaimed excitedly. She had somehow made it into being the second official keyboardist; she said she wanted to keep an eye on her beloved Ryu-chan. 

There was no reply from Ryuichi. Lowering his head, his face was completely invisible and unreadable. Noriko surveyed Ryuichi curiously, as she drew closer. She stopped unwillingly when Tohma put up a finger to his lips, indicating silence for all of them. 

After what seemed like an endless silence, Ryuichi finally held up his head. He grinned widely as he buried his face into Kumagoro's belly. 

"Singing sure is fun, ya know?"   
  
  


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~Current Ryuichi~   


Flashlights. Interviews. Ryuichi should be used to them by now. 

But he couldn't. He was on good terms with the mass media, but he didn't like being interviewed no matter how famous Nittle Grasper, no, Sakuma Ryuichi, had become over the years. 

Ryuichi didn't change a lot; stardom didn't affect him like it affected most artists. He was the same happy-go-lucky kid that he was over a decade ago; in fact, he had become even more childish than ever. 

"Sakuma-san, could you please tell us why did you choose to come back to Nittle Grasper over 3 years of separation?" asked a female reporter from one of the best selling magazines in the world. 

Ryuichi scratched his head and grinned brightly at the lady reporter. Hugging Kumagoro tightly with both arms, he exclaimed, "I wanna sing with Shuichi! I wanna sing with Tohma and Noriko-chan again! I wanna shine!!! Pika-pika!" 

All the reporters blinked in confusion. But they were used to these kinds of responses from Sakuma Ryuichi. 

No mass media would dare to insult Sakuma Ryuichi and his intelligence. Nittle Grasper, along with its unusual vocalist, was legendary. Their music had permanently changed the lives of countless fans countrywide. No one would call Ryuichi crazy for carrying around a pink bunny and having constant conversations with it. He was a genius. He was regarded at a higher level than mortals. 

Seguchi Tohma quickly took over the matter, as usual. "Ryuichi-san was merely expressing interest in performing together with Shindo Shuichi, the lead singer in Bad Luck, who also debuted under the NG Label. Of course, there's a chance that Nittle Grasper and Bad Luck might perform together in the future." 

Tohma had become such an important figure in Japanese Entertainment industry over these years when he formed his own company. He managed to control and maintain a multi-billion business smoothly like an experienced captain handling his ship. His resourcefulness and manipulation had led him to unparalleled success. 

Ukai Noriko held up a hand lazily to draw attention to herself, her wedding ring shimmered brightly on her slender finger. With her bright red bikini tops and black leather mini skirt, no one could tell that she already had a six-year-old daughter. Ryuichi was a bit jealous of Noriko's new family. He thought she would stay with him forever. Apparently, girls were supposed to have their own families when they grew up. 

How boring. 

Ryuichi missed Noriko's company terribly. He wished they could just go treasure hunts at beaches together again. But Noriko said she was a grown-up now and she wouldn't play silly games with Ryuichi anymore. 

Good thing that Ryuichi still had Kumagoro as company. Otherwise, he would be very lonely! Everyone just left poor Ryu-chan behind! 

"We'd like to meet our devoted fans again as a group. Over the years, we've received millions of mails from them insisting that we should get back together. The revival of Nittle Grasper was due to our love towards our fans!" Noriko's response was jolly and positive, a contrary to Tohma's controlled, calculated answer. 

What she had said was also true. Ryuichi loved meeting his fans, but that was about it; he wasn't interested in any of them. Recently, he had met yet another crazy fan, through Shuichi. His name was Usegi Tatsuha. He sounded devoted to Ryuichi, and that had both amused (and flattered) the singer. 

Both Shuichi and Tatsuha was very fun to hang around with, but they definitely treated Ryuichi as a god, insisting to call him the oh-so-polite "Sakuma-san"! It wasn't cool at all! All Ryu-chan wanted was to play with them! 

Ryuichi didn't care much about his fame. It was, of course, very nice to have everyone recognize his face everywhere. Sunglasses had become a necessary accessory item to his daily outfit. (Ryuichi had insisted that Kumagoro should wear a pair too, but Tohma had assured him that it wasn't needed. Genius Tohma was always right, so Ryuichi had to give up the idea.) 

However, the only thing Ryuichi cared was to be able to sing, and the cheering fans were only an added bonus. 

He had fallen in love with music. 

Staring at the crowd of reporters in front of him, Ryuichi flashed them his mysterious, sexy smile that he usually wore only on stage. 

His music was his fairy dust. 

Ryuichi wished that he'd never forget the way to fly. 

Never ever.   
  
  


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